likethebeer

"The Chaos" by Gerald Gerard Nolst Trenité:
http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

"This is a classic English poem containing about 800 of the worst irregularities in English spelling and pronunciation."

The Chaos represents a virtuoso feat of composition, a mammoth catalogue of about 800 of the most notorious irregularities of traditional English orthography, skilfully versified (if with a few awkward lines) into couplets with alternating feminine and masculine rhymes. The selection of examples now appears somewhat dated, as do a few of their pronunciations, indeed a few words may even be unknown to today's readers (how many will know what a "studding-sail" is, or that its nautical pronunciation is "stunsail"?), and not every rhyme will immediately "click" ("grits" for "groats"?); but the overwhelming bulk of the poem represents as valid an indictment of the chaos of English spelling as it ever did. Who the "dearest creature in creation" addressed in the first line, also addressed as "Susy" in line 5, might have been is unknown, though a mimeographed version of the poem in Harry Cohen's possession is dedicated to "Miss Susanne Delacruix, Paris". Presumably she was one of Nolst Trenité's students.

It was tiring to go through. I think Soviet spies should have learned it.

"pro-bono work for free"

"that's so apropos"
I understand it sounds so right to say it, but it's wrong. I feel like I'm betraying my 7th grade spelling teacher when I hear that said. As a result of all this confusion, I can't even bring myself use the word "apropos" correctly. I can't imagine having a need to, anyway.

When "etcetera" is pronounced "excetera"
Interestingly enough, though, I'm starting to get over the whole "nuclear/nuculer" thing. I think I'm getting confused with all the people pronouncing it like the president.

The transformation of nouns into verbs: "I'll dialog with you later."
I heard someone on the Lehrer News Hour do that last night. [although I do say, "I'll e-mail you" as opposed to "I'll send/write you an e-mail." I don't know why, except perhaps I didn't really think about what e-mail actually meant for a really long time.]

There are more to this list, I know. Maybe I'll remember them throughout the day.