Librarians and grammer experts: help!

[likethebeer]

We had an ongoing argument this weekend during our trip to Mackinaw City: the difference between the definition of empathy, vs. sympathy.

I have thought that empathy is to feel for someone. That is: you might be going through something that I've never been through, but I feel for you.

Sympathy, I've thought, is feeling with someone. That is: I've been through what you've been through, so I know how you feel; I feel with you, in other words.

Others thought the definitions were reversed.

A $20 bet is riding on this, so please help if you have insight!

kthxbai

Comments

$20 bet

[regatomic.livejournal.com]

say good by to it,..

empathy is to feel/share the feelings as in an empath,..

sympathy is to feel regret without feeling the actual feelings,..

Re: $20 bet

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

Man - you & kitchenwitch say the same thing. I thought that sympathy was "feel with", empathy was "feel for". I've really tried to learn that. damn.

It's not so much the $20, or the feeling that I'm wrong: it's that I'll have to re-teach myself, and I hope I don't forget.

[kitchenwitch.livejournal.com]

Other way around. Empathy, you feel what they feel. Sympathy, you feel for them.

[kitchenwitch.livejournal.com]

P.S. Matthew and I had a raging debate about this and we finally pulled out the dictionary. I WAS RIGHT. HA.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I told regatomic that it's not so much admitting that I am wrong; it's reteaching myself!

But J (mda's sister) will appreciate that I honored the bet. I can... em sympathize with how she feels.

oh, this is going to take time.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

Argh! That's what they said! But the definitions we were looking at seemed to confirm what I was taught. Oh, goodness.

Good thing is that I made a bet with a woman when she was drunk. Maybe I'll just send her the $20 and ask never to talk about it again.

[ghostwes.livejournal.com]

Sympathy -- Most humans
Empathy -- Deanna Troi
Telepathy -- Professor X

Deanna Troi

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I spent a lot of time the day after our discussion thinking about what defined ST:NG's Empath to see if I could figure out the correct answer.

[mslilly.livejournal.com]

Sympathy is a feeling of sorrow; you feel sympathetic or sorrowful.

Empathy is feeling with.

Sorry.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

Man, everyone who has written in has been completely consistent in their replies. Like I told others who have replied: the problem is not that I now owe $20, or the embarrassment of being wrong. The problem will be trying to remember these definitions, b/c I worked so hard to learn it the other way.

Oh, and mda has the same definitions as I do, so we'll be tripping over each other.

[drunk-bohemian.livejournal.com]

Just remember all the Hallmark sympathy cards out there. I've never seen an empathy card!

[binro33.livejournal.com]

my vote is for reversed.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I'm going to work on retraining myself. It will be hard. And I've got to send $20 to mda's sister.