We are old
Feb. 5th, 2007 08:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
likethebeerWe are old, old, old.
I'm not comparing myself to an 87 yo, but I'm not a kid. I'm not a Gen Y (or the thing after that). Damn: kids in Gen Y are starting to get annoyed by me (why do I bitch so much!? stfu! Nirvana isn't the best thing since sliced bread! Three's Company sucked, sucks, GET OVER IT! Stop talking about it! And while I'm at it: stop whining about the Boomers!). Ooh, damn--I could write a whole essay on that. Oh, yeah.
Anyway, that wasn't the point. The point was is the realization that we're old; this was clear, once again, when mda noted that he has problems finding stuff on Youtube.
And I told him, "Honey, we're not old old, but we're not kids." Damn, we're out of most people's prime demographic (we're 34-49 AND WE DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!!!--what the hell are we in the market to buy in the next, well, forever?). I told him this fact, and that, yes, he's turning 40 in March (which he informed me that he knows, but sometimes, I wonder how much... just like if someone says to me, "You know you're going to die, right?" And I'll say, "yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I know." But I don't really know. I just know I should know. Because, yeah, if I really think about it, I become parallized with fear).
Anyway, that's not here or there. Or not the point, which is what I wrote 2 paragraphs above.
But here are a few things I thought about this "getting old" thing: there's an ad in my hotmail account regarding some messenger service (I'd say that's Microsoft), and there's a picture of a cute girl, and then a picture of a cute guy. Here's the thing: the girl looks like she's 10. I'm looking at this when the ad first comes in, and I'm wondering why a 10 yo girl is shown talking to a 17 yo boy.
Took me about a day to realize that she's probably supposed to be 16. Or something.
I know that some late-teens men & women look that young to me--12, 13 years old. But it's funny to see it backed up once again.
And, oh yeah, the fact that I have had 2 major points of pain from simply working out in the past 6 months (1 of these things made me go to the doctor; another one made me end up in the ER). I didn't go nuts to get this way. I think that means I'm getting old.
And I get so pissed because I never had moments of non-pain in my life! I've had to wear orthodics since I was 16! All of this is doing something good for my soul, or I hope so.
I'm at the point of boring cynicism; in part because I'm beyond totally-open-eyed optimism. Then I realize: I never had totally-open-eyed optmism.
Ok, there was that point between the ages of 18-20, but it was shortlived, and probably because I was in love, anyway. In love, a couple of times.
And here's the other thing I realize: I have never been the perfect girl! THe babe, the ones on the magazine. I know: I, like many other 14 yo's, bought 17 Magazine. In which I was told that NO, I didn't have to look at the girls in the ads; that I could be my own person (but, yeah, I still wasn't a hotty).
Does this mean that, no matter my demographic, I will never be anyone's idea of a hottie? But I have based my whole, "not dyeing my hair" thing on those ads of gorgeous women in their 40s who have all gray hair and... well it looks like they don't wear make-up. So, doesn't that mean I'll be totally hot at some point?
Oh, yes, of course, there is a certain group of men that think I'm hot, because, well, in the first case, I'm naturally beautiful, but also, I have this passion and intensity. But, you know, soon they will be all hot for an older woman who "knows what she wants" and, shit, I have no idea what I want. So I'll miss out once again.
maybe I should wear make-up. ha! THat's the end result of this whole thing: that I think that maybe, just maybe, I will never be a hottie in any genre. That I will continue to just be me, and that may be hot to some people.
If they can come along for the ride while I mumble and talk about really obscure things.
I'm not comparing myself to an 87 yo, but I'm not a kid. I'm not a Gen Y (or the thing after that). Damn: kids in Gen Y are starting to get annoyed by me (why do I bitch so much!? stfu! Nirvana isn't the best thing since sliced bread! Three's Company sucked, sucks, GET OVER IT! Stop talking about it! And while I'm at it: stop whining about the Boomers!). Ooh, damn--I could write a whole essay on that. Oh, yeah.
Anyway, that wasn't the point. The point was is the realization that we're old; this was clear, once again, when mda noted that he has problems finding stuff on Youtube.
And I told him, "Honey, we're not old old, but we're not kids." Damn, we're out of most people's prime demographic (we're 34-49 AND WE DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!!!--what the hell are we in the market to buy in the next, well, forever?). I told him this fact, and that, yes, he's turning 40 in March (which he informed me that he knows, but sometimes, I wonder how much... just like if someone says to me, "You know you're going to die, right?" And I'll say, "yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I know." But I don't really know. I just know I should know. Because, yeah, if I really think about it, I become parallized with fear).
Anyway, that's not here or there. Or not the point, which is what I wrote 2 paragraphs above.
But here are a few things I thought about this "getting old" thing: there's an ad in my hotmail account regarding some messenger service (I'd say that's Microsoft), and there's a picture of a cute girl, and then a picture of a cute guy. Here's the thing: the girl looks like she's 10. I'm looking at this when the ad first comes in, and I'm wondering why a 10 yo girl is shown talking to a 17 yo boy.
Took me about a day to realize that she's probably supposed to be 16. Or something.
I know that some late-teens men & women look that young to me--12, 13 years old. But it's funny to see it backed up once again.
And, oh yeah, the fact that I have had 2 major points of pain from simply working out in the past 6 months (1 of these things made me go to the doctor; another one made me end up in the ER). I didn't go nuts to get this way. I think that means I'm getting old.
And I get so pissed because I never had moments of non-pain in my life! I've had to wear orthodics since I was 16! All of this is doing something good for my soul, or I hope so.
I'm at the point of boring cynicism; in part because I'm beyond totally-open-eyed optimism. Then I realize: I never had totally-open-eyed optmism.
Ok, there was that point between the ages of 18-20, but it was shortlived, and probably because I was in love, anyway. In love, a couple of times.
And here's the other thing I realize: I have never been the perfect girl! THe babe, the ones on the magazine. I know: I, like many other 14 yo's, bought 17 Magazine. In which I was told that NO, I didn't have to look at the girls in the ads; that I could be my own person (but, yeah, I still wasn't a hotty).
Does this mean that, no matter my demographic, I will never be anyone's idea of a hottie? But I have based my whole, "not dyeing my hair" thing on those ads of gorgeous women in their 40s who have all gray hair and... well it looks like they don't wear make-up. So, doesn't that mean I'll be totally hot at some point?
Oh, yes, of course, there is a certain group of men that think I'm hot, because, well, in the first case, I'm naturally beautiful, but also, I have this passion and intensity. But, you know, soon they will be all hot for an older woman who "knows what she wants" and, shit, I have no idea what I want. So I'll miss out once again.
maybe I should wear make-up. ha! THat's the end result of this whole thing: that I think that maybe, just maybe, I will never be a hottie in any genre. That I will continue to just be me, and that may be hot to some people.
If they can come along for the ride while I mumble and talk about really obscure things.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-06 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-06 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-06 03:59 am (UTC)I'm also feeling my age.. and much more so. Hard miles. I wasn't exactly easy on myself.
miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:09 am (UTC)Hey, kid, what they hell do you think you're doing? Doncha want that sack gettin' to work anytime soon? You'll rattle somethin' loose!
Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:11 am (UTC)Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:38 am (UTC)oiy, my back.
Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:42 am (UTC)Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:48 am (UTC)So, here's the thing: I've wanted to have a "high school party" for years: bad beer on tap, fake calls from "parents".... Now I'm thinking we need to have an old-timers party. We can drink Old Fashioneds and talk about our broken bones and prostrate problems.
I'd like the high school party at some time, though.
Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:50 am (UTC)Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:51 am (UTC)Wanna see my biopsy scar? Haaa
Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:53 am (UTC)Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:57 am (UTC)Re: miles
Date: 2007-02-06 04:59 am (UTC)uh, I mean
Date: 2007-02-06 05:05 am (UTC)Re: uh, I mean
Date: 2007-02-06 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-06 04:30 am (UTC)Ri-ght
Date: 2007-02-06 04:37 am (UTC)well, or thereabouts.
Re: Ri-ght
Date: 2007-02-06 01:10 pm (UTC)M'Luv is a "tad" older, but you didn't hear it from me...
But enough about age. Look at Frank Lloyd Wright. He was only halfway done when he was our (general) age...
---------------
It was kind of fun in a sadistic way the last time my Mom asked when we were going to make them some grandkids, and I said it's really not an option any more, due to the vasectomy.
We're too set in our ways to adopt. I'll have to live vicariously through my little bro's family and his 5 mo. old daughter.
Re: Ri-ght
Date: 2007-02-07 02:41 am (UTC)I mean, the icon you usually use, not Uncle Fester.
Your mother's optimism towards her goal is very sweet. Well, you know, 40 is the new 30. Or so they tell me on the West Coast.
When a friend/co-worker turned 50, I wrote to him that, at 50, FLLW still had TWO marriages ahead of him, 2 kids, plus Fallingwater, Johnson Wax, the Guggenheim... and actually more than 1/2 of his total output as an architect.
As a gift, btw, we got him a statement informing him that he was now a National Historic Landmark.
Re: Ri-ght
Date: 2007-02-07 04:27 am (UTC)CSA (Chortles semi-audibly; CSA is the new LOL)
CSA
Date: 2007-02-07 04:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-06 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-06 05:10 am (UTC)It took me a few seasons of giving tours at Tal. to realize that no one was asking me anymore whether or not I was an apprentice (a student). I realized, "oh, yeah--I don't look young enough to be a student at all anymore."
I think it must have been around this time that they stopped carding me for cigarettes.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-07 04:34 am (UTC)