yesterday's culinary adventure, with commentary

[likethebeer]

In my continual desire to save money, I take the left over coffee from the French press, and put it into a jar at the end of the evening, so that I can bring it to work the next day (sometimes this adds up to several cups throughout the day). So, yesterday I was getting things ready for work, and noticed that mda had done the same thing: taking the coffee from the French press he had cleaned the night before, placing it in a jar on a counter above the sink. He's never done this before, but he'll often just see that I continuously do something and he will just do it for me, w/out telling me (it's one of those good things about him).

So I took the glass jar off the shelf, put a little milk in it, and took it to work. When I got to work, I took the coffee out, poured it into my mug, nuked it, and drank it. It was terrible. I ended up taking a few sips and throwing it out--which means it's got to be terrible.

So, the day goes by, and 3+ hours later, I take my lunch out of my lunch bag, and happen to take out the coffee again, and the level went down enough that I could see some metal things. My brain started to do some remembering....

mda got a huge, commercial espresso/cappucino machine for free from one of their roasters, which he calls Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang. It's leaking and the guy just wanted to get rid of it, so who better to fix it and take it home? mda, of course. Here's a photo of it, w/its crazy eagle top.

Now being mda, his first resolve was to clean things really well while he tried to figure out what's wrong w/the machine...

To: mda
From: likethebeer
Subject: now don't panic

I took the "coffee" that was above the sink? and mixed it with other (real)
coffee in the fridge, brought that to work, put it in a cup, heated it up,
drank 2 sips and thought it tasted really bad. So, unlike what I usually do
(which is to drink coffee no matter the circumstances), I threw it out. That
was this morning

I didn't realize until about 10 minutes ago that this was the container that
you were using to clean the stuff from chittychittybangbang. I haven't
noticed any reaction, except for possibly my head is now doing some
psychosomatic stuff. But for 3 1/2 hours, I was just fine. maybe I should
drink some more water.

this is actually really funny.

From: mda
To: likethebeer
Subject: Re: now don't panic

Worisome. Drink more water.
I'm sorry. I should keep my chemical experiments entirely out of the
kitchen.
Drink more water, honey.

me

From: mda
To: likethebeer
Subject: I am so...

...pissed at myself right now.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity Fuck.

Fuxor
mda

To: mda
From: likethebeer
Subject: Re: I am so...

the "coffee"? I'm the idiot who thought it was actual coffee. You never do that, but you'd cleaned out the coffee from the French press and I figured you had put it there for me, since you've seen me do it all the time.

I'm drinking water.

it turns out that mda had first tried cleaning some parts of chitty chitty bang bang with CLR (in a small mug, which he showed me) and when that didn't work, he took oven cleaner, sprayed it into one of those glass containers, & filled it w/water. The coffee that was on the mechanism came out, turning the water to, well, a dark coffee color.

That's what I drank. Fucking diluted oven cleaner!! No wonder it tasted terrible!

holy fuck. I'm fine. Which is why I can relate this story. I had a little bit of a sore throat but I drank about a gallon of water. He feels stupid & I feel stupid.

OH, and (in the usual "everything relates to Tal. & FLLW" world that we live in) mda pointed out later that I now have something in common with Julian Carlton, the guy who set fire to Tal., then drank muriatic acid. Ok, so I was drinking lye, but it's a similar enough story to make the connection.

Comments

[kitchenwitch.livejournal.com]

Holy cow. I hope the dilution + water cleaned everything out of there.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

Everything's looking fine so far, although last night I probably shouldn't have had the dried chili peppers on my pizza--my throat was still recovering and it was a teensy bit painful.

So, yes, a person can drink a few sips of oven cleaner diluted with water and survive. Although I don't recommend it.

[djymm.livejournal.com]

"Wisconsin Death Trip" tells me it's carbolic acid you're supposed to ingest mistakenly.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

hmmm--I've always heard muriatic; that's what's in the bios. Acid/lye--after awhile I suppose there's not much of a difference!

[djymm.livejournal.com]

Muriatic acid is another name for hydrochloric acid, as opposed to the relatively mild carbolic acid, which is a phenol. Muriatic acid is the better choice for intentionally doing yourself in.

Glycolic acid is derived from sugarcane, and is the chemical used in dermatological "chemical peels". Sulfamic Acid is a milder replacement for Hydrochloric acid. Both of these are active ingredients of CLR. The oven cleaner is easily the most caustic part of your new coffee beverage.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks for those definitions. I'm happy more than ever that I didn't really know what it was that I drank at the time. And I'm really, really happy that I didn't drink that much of it, considering that it was over 3 hours before it occurred to me what I had done. oiy.

[ghostwes.livejournal.com]

That is one cool looking contraption. It looks like some kind of Victorian era time-machine. Tres steampunk.

Thanks for the comments, by the way. They were much better than I deserved expected.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

mda is very appreciative of the time machine reference. "steampunk"--I hadn't thought of that term before, but it works for me.

You're welcome on the comments.

[ghostwes.livejournal.com]

Steampunk is a relatively new sub-genre of science-fiction and fantasy, though not limited to literature. Some of it is rather fun.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I knew there was something about Wild, Wild West that always appealed to me (more the tv series, but the movie, definitely); although I think it waas also watching men in tight pants walk around when I was pre-pubescent.

And another book to look at by Gibson--The Difference Engine. Gibson has the unfortunate circumstance of having been read first by me after I read Stephenson, so it feels like Gibson is taking from Stephenson instead of the other way around. sigh. there is never enough time to read.

[wi-c.livejournal.com]

Jeeezuz Christ, K-rock! What the hell are you doing?

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

apparently, drinking anything in front of me that looks remotely like coffee. I've been more circumspect since then, believe me.

[http://users.livejournal.com/built2spill_/]

I'm glad you are okay because it would totally inappropriate to be laughing at this story if you were in a toxin-induced coma!

Heathers remade for 2006 would SO have to include this (and a Starbucks product placement) instead of Draino.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I've been so thinking of Heathers since then. Get me some cornuts!

[binro33.livejournal.com]

Forgive a stupid question, but couldn't you smell the difference before you took a swig?

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I could taste something "kind of chemically," but I didn't smell it; I tried several times. It sort of tasted like a cleaning agent, or slightly soapy. That's part of why I threw it out.

[binro33.livejournal.com]

I guess your spider sense wasn't tingling.