(no subject)

[likethebeer]

In the TMI information (without articulation) FINALLY!!!! JESUS CHRIST

Other than that, what do I do about the situation in which for 2 years they have completely forgotten about my b-day at work? Next year I think I will start to send out e-mails beginning a month in advance, then 3 weeks, 2 weeks, 1 week in advance. Right now, I'm still pissed. Especially since they remember everyone else. And yesterday they had a b-day pizza party for a guy who's laid off (for the season) right now--he's not working. Me, they forget. 2 years in a row. ANd I said several times in the past year, "You guys are going to do something for my b-day, right? Because you all forgot last year." Still didn't fucking work.

I would like to tell them that I'm pissed about the fact that they forgot, but I don't know how to bring it up without revealing all of my incredible bitterness about the whole situation. And, again, it is just my b-day, and it was a month ago. Really, we're dealing w/my reaction to the situation, not their forgetfulness.

work.

Comments

[binro33.livejournal.com]

Why be afraid to tell them you've felt a bit betrayed by their thoughlessness. They are in the wrong, not you.

Even if you just mope around a bit until someone asks you what's up and you lay the guilt on them, you'll feel better afterwards.

betrayed by their thoughlessness

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

That's a nice way of putting it. I think it's the thing taht shy people deal with--we never know how to express our emotions without overblowing it. Like when I imagine having the conversation, I imagine raising my voice and using my rich collection of swear words to express my anger about it.

[sacramentalist.livejournal.com]

That sucks, dude. And it hurts if you're waiting for it to happen, too. I used to wait to see if people would remember, then I realized that the only one affected is me.

So, I now avoid being slighted by being a shameless whore. I let everyone online know. Then my ICQ lets my co-workers know. And I tell my friends they need to take me out for my birthday. If I see someone I know in a bar, I say "hey! it's my birthday! buy me a drink!" If they say no, so what?

And at work, I'll say something like: "Hey. It's my birthday tomorrow. I really like cheesecake. I'll pitch in!" Nobody can turn down cheesecake.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's the right attitude.

[sacramentalist.livejournal.com]

Well, I think you deserve a cake! Give 'em hell!

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

Cheesecake, even! (yum)

[wi-c.livejournal.com]

This is why I propose everyone throw their own fucking birthday party - No hurt feelings.

Keiran I'd be more concerned about what they pay you than whether or not they forget your birthday.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

If I walked around all the time pissed off at how much they pay me, I'd be even a more miserable fuck.

[em-porium.livejournal.com]

Awww...I'm sorry. Yeah, I know how that feels. I once worked for a company who made a big deal out of everyone's birthday. I was a temp, and when they didn't celebrate mine, I thought, "oh well, I'm just a temp." Then they had huge celebrations for all of the other temps in the department. They even took up a collection for one of them because he was turning 21 that year.

I say, next year either decide just to let them forget it and bring in your own cake, or post a huge sign on your office/cube with a count down to your big day. If they don't get the hint then...

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

It's hard not to be hurt in that situation, even when you want to be a grown-up. "What's wrong with _me_?!" you think.

I have to face it: if they forget my b-day next winter it really is no one's fault but mine. I thought the guilt trips throughout the year made a difference, but no.

[em-porium.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, I totally sympathize. I felt like no one liked me in the office because they didn't do a big celebration for my birthday. Then I rationalized it, but that wasn't good either.

I now like to announce repeatedly and in advance by at least two weeks when my birthday is. If we're planning anything on that day, I will pipe up with, "And that's my birthday!" It usually does the trick. :)

[binro33.livejournal.com]

Or just don't tell anyone you don't like. That way you can spend your birthday with people you like. It is your day after all...

[em-porium.livejournal.com]

Very true!

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

"Oh, hey, you know what next Friday is? It's my... oh. Didn't see you there. You gonna be here long?"

No, I wouldn't do that.

[binro33.livejournal.com]

Just say "I'm inviting my friends to a birthday bash, I'll tell you all about it when we get back."

[waning-estrogen.livejournal.com]

my birthday has always been overlooked. so has mother's day (except by the kids, but they're not in elementary school now), valentine's day, and just about every other 'special, notable' occasion. I've developed a thick skin about it to the point that I just blow it off, and am genuinely surprised when someone does remember me. but I can remember feeling that way. really, like a non-entity.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I wish I had your skin. Well, in a proverbial sense, of course. I don't think I'm up for wearing it right now.

In the meantime--August 15th. Gotcha. :)

[waning-estrogen.livejournal.com]

no, really, I don't want to remember them anymore.
honest. this year is another 'senior' step.
the aarp at 50 wasn't bad,
but 55 throws in a whole bunch of other stuff,
just nothing good, you know?
like airline discounts or free admissions stuff.

[jaaladay.livejournal.com]

My mom faced a similar situation with her sisters--she always remembered them, and they forgot her day every damn time. Her solution--she gave them each a calendar for xmas with the birthdays of everyone in the family prominently marked. The next year, she got cards. So maybe try writing it on the tour calendar, or the whiteboard, or somewhere people will see it the day or week before. If you're still fed up about this year, just declare your b-day April 1 .;)
I'm not good with remembering b-days, so I have taken wi-c's approach--I advocate for my b-day and throw my own party. But then I am not shy.

[likethebeer.livejournal.com]

I like wi_c's thing. And yours. The whiteboard is the way to go. I wanted to tell CJ today (that I'm working through my anger on this), but he's got a bad cold.