other than that.... my 1st uu experience
Nov. 17th, 2004 01:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
likethebeerI haven't talked about my UU experience in Madison on Sunday. That's right--for the first time in forever, I voluntarily went to a religious service (although it was Unitarian, so who can say how religious it was?).
Firstly, there was organ music, which completely freaked me out for the first 5 minutes. I had the urge to run. I never had a horrible experience w/the Catholic church, but I do have a set of built-up aversions that emerged at some point in my twenties. Obviously, organ music is one of them. The smell of church incense is another (actually, that does have a real Pavlovian origin: we used to have the Benediction of the Cross every Fri during lent and they would use that incense. Almost made you want to puke/faint). The name Jesus is another. Although I don't have a problem with the guy. I actually think he was majorly interesting and cool. Had a whole set of interesting concepts that he basically invented in Western culture. But, still, the name sets me on edge.
Anyway, that was jsut the first reaction. Oh, and there were hymns, but once I got a look at the words, I was ok. The hymns were about dealing with life, working on community, working on the soul, trying to find peace.
The pastor also lead us in about a 5 minute meditation. And not one of those meditations where you're talked to so much about what you're supposed to be feeling that there's no way you actually have to time to feel anything.
The upshot of the service was that:
I got to what mda called my larger self, and that's what I was hoping for
I felt some peace. I've been sorely lacking in peace for too long.
I won't be able to make the local service this Sunday due to a baby shower, but I'm thinking about going back to the UU congregation Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning (knowing me, Saturday afternoon would be the better bet).
Of course, I am at the paranoid point now that I feel like a pathetic addict going to a fix, or admitting I'm weak, GODDAMMIT, I'm weak! but I think I do need to continue to work on that peace thing.
Firstly, there was organ music, which completely freaked me out for the first 5 minutes. I had the urge to run. I never had a horrible experience w/the Catholic church, but I do have a set of built-up aversions that emerged at some point in my twenties. Obviously, organ music is one of them. The smell of church incense is another (actually, that does have a real Pavlovian origin: we used to have the Benediction of the Cross every Fri during lent and they would use that incense. Almost made you want to puke/faint). The name Jesus is another. Although I don't have a problem with the guy. I actually think he was majorly interesting and cool. Had a whole set of interesting concepts that he basically invented in Western culture. But, still, the name sets me on edge.
Anyway, that was jsut the first reaction. Oh, and there were hymns, but once I got a look at the words, I was ok. The hymns were about dealing with life, working on community, working on the soul, trying to find peace.
The pastor also lead us in about a 5 minute meditation. And not one of those meditations where you're talked to so much about what you're supposed to be feeling that there's no way you actually have to time to feel anything.
The upshot of the service was that:
Of course, I am at the paranoid point now that I feel like a pathetic addict going to a fix, or admitting I'm weak, GODDAMMIT, I'm weak! but I think I do need to continue to work on that peace thing.
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that peace thing.
Date: 2004-11-17 07:54 pm (UTC)Re: that peace thing.
Date: 2004-11-17 11:51 pm (UTC)you go grrrl. no, really - go!
Date: 2004-11-17 07:59 pm (UTC)WI-C
Re: you go grrrl. no, really - go!
Date: 2004-11-17 11:50 pm (UTC)Peace?
Date: 2004-11-17 08:15 pm (UTC)Hmm, I figure you go wherever you have to go to find peace. If that means church (in any form), then so be it.
I feel on edge in churches, and the UU church I went to for a while trying to reconcile my upbringing and current beliefs, um, no, let's be honest, I had a good grip on that dichotomy, I was trying to fit in, to be the Professor's Wife as I imagined her to be. And being Wiccan wasn't part of that image, for me or for him. The Star Wars/Star Trek service was the last one I attended. I kept giggling every time the pianist played a theme song.
Didn't find peace, didn't stay married, either. I'm digressing.
Find peace, hold on to it however you can. I gotta believe that's a good idea, no matter where you find it. (So long as it isn't drug-induced.)
Me? I'm thinking of going a retreat to find some inner peace/face some inner demons, or looking into some local meditation or Buddhist places.
Re: Peace?
Date: 2004-11-17 11:49 pm (UTC)Too bad the Wiccan didn't fit better with the UU. I went to the UU b/c the quasi-Wiccan rituals are all I've had for years, and they don't come often enough.
The pastor at Sunday's service talked about his silence retreats he does about once a year to a week. I don't know if I could do that (of course, in winter I feel like it's all a silence retreat). I figure I face inner demons every day, anyway, which is why I'm reluctant to accompany a friend to a Quaker's meeting.