I say you should finish your education and come out here and give tours for $8/hour, 6 months a year. You obviously have a gift of some sort, because it usually takes years for someone to get that amount of absurdity right off the bat.

and the notation on Jane Austen novels made me laugh out loud. In the vein of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, you could try your hand at Sense & Sensibility & Robots. I think the farts would only work for making the heroine hate the intended love interest.