likethebeer: (Default)
Child elopers' Africa plan foiled
Two German children - aged five and six - have been stopped by police from eloping to Africa to tie the knot in the sun, reports say.

The budding lovebirds, identified as Mika and Anna-Lena, packed bathing costumes, sunglasses and a lilo and headed for the airport.

They even had the presence of mind to invite along an official witness - Anna-Lena's seven-year-old sister.

The three got as far as Hanover railway station before police intervened.

The young couple were "very much in love" and had decided to get married in Africa "where it is warm", police spokesman Holger Jureczko told the AFP news agency.


The idea for the getaway wedding was born as the children's families celebrated New Year's eve together and Mika regaled the two girls with stories of a recent holiday to Italy.

The following morning, as their parents slept, the intrepid trio walked 1km (0.6 miles) to the local tram station at Langenhagen, where they hopped aboard a tram for Hanover central station.

But the group aroused the suspicion of a guard as they waited for a train to the airport, and police were called in.

Officers persuaded the children they would not get far without tickets and money, but consoled them with a free tour of the police station, where they were shortly picked up by relieved parents.

Although any marriage plans have been put on hold for now, police did not altogether rule out the possibility of an African wedding.

"They can still put their plan into action at a later date," AFP quoted the spokesman as saying.
Reminds me of all those weddings my oldest sister used to conduct w/me in my communion dress w/the nearest bystander (we would hold hands at the end to "I Got You, Babe"). But these kids had plans, man. And access to the subway!!
likethebeer: (Gimme bones)
I was reading a piece from a lawyer with a Kafkaesque proceeding in (Joe B. Eisenberg). I sent it to mda b/c I though he would like the scene the lawyer describes (the destruction of the laptop has to do with our blessed security agency):
The attack of the Samsonite Gorillas
On Aug. 8, 2007 -- more than nine months after I'd drafted the secret supplemental brief we'd filed with Judge King -- the DOJ people came to "wipe" my laptop clean of any electronic remnants of the brief. We'd finally agreed on the logistics: Erin Hogarty would bring a DOJ technician from Washington, D.C., and we'd meet in the windowless room adjacent to Judge Walker's chambers in San Francisco, where the technician would do the deed in my presence. It turned out to be more of a "whacking" than a "wiping."
Hogarty brought someone she introduced simply as "Miguel." By this time, alas, my laptop, which was old, was in its death throes. After Miguel tried logging onto the laptop and encountered fatal errors, he pronounced it dead. Hogarty asked me whether it would be OK if they physically destroyed the hard drive. I'd bought a new laptop and had managed to retrieve from the old one everything that I cared about, so I agreed.

They had brought no tools with them. Hogarty was about to canvass the building for a screwdriver, but I had a pending meeting elsewhere, so Miguel made do by fashioning a crude implement from the metal clip of his pen. He pried the back cover off the computer and removed the hard drive and memory board.

The situation grew darkly comic. They didn't have a hammer, so they started debating how to smash the hard drive. I suggested they smack it against the corner of the table that was in the room. That didn't do much. Hogarty then had an idea to put the thing on the floor and use a table leg on it. Miguel put down the hard drive, picked up the table and brought it down several times forcefully. The noise resounded, but the hard drive was impervious. One of the table legs became bent from the procedure.

Next, Miguel tried attacking the hard drive with his homemade tool. Soon he'd managed to pry off the hard drive cover and commenced scratching at the components. Meanwhile, Hogarty took the memory board and began banging on it on the floor with a chair leg. The memory board was weaker than the hard drive and cracked in several places. Then she held the memory board in her hands and tried bending it, but Miguel stopped her, warning that he'd seen someone get cut badly doing that -- evidently they'd done this sort of thing before.

I found myself thinking of the Samsonite Gorilla, the TV commercial from the 1970s in which a gorilla stomps on a piece of luggage that just won't break. I thought: "These people are entrusted with our national security?"

Eventually they managed to turn two shiny pieces of technology into about 20 jagged pieces of junk. Miguel started to throw the pieces into the wastebasket, but I asked if I could keep them -- a dark memento of sorts -- and he agreed.
mda noted that a search on Google could have let these people understand how to destroy a hard drive. And we've both wondered why, or how, someone could have ended up in a meeting, the express purpose of which was to destroy a laptop, with representatives of the agency dedicated to destroy the laptop being completely unprepared for destroying said laptop.
likethebeer: (Gimme bones)
After McCain accidentally said this, "I will veto every single beer" [instead of bill], somebody came out with this:

It just tickles me.
likethebeer: (Default)
From TableTalk: Seeing that the possibilities of boredom are endless, a few of us started creating Boring Greeting Cards. They're everywhere in the store; why not here.
Sounds Like the Bacteria in Your Septic System is Working Fine--Congrats!

So You Finally Washed Your Car!

Condolences On Your Bad Hair Day

Don't Be Blue. The "Dead End" Sign Didn't Mean You.

So, Your Bread Dough Doubled in Size! GOOOO YEAST!!

Our Deepest Sympathy on the Cancellation of Your Favorite Show

Wishing you the speedy return of your internet service.

My Deepest Sorrow That Your Kiwi Fruits All Ripened at the Same Time.

I'm so Sorry You Didn't Have Exact Change!

A Little Birdie Told Me...
About your Upcoming Indecent Exposure Trial.

Sorry To Hear Your Vasectomy Didn't Take!

You're a true friend!
Thanks for loaning me your urine for my drug test.

Daddy, dear, you are the best,
We do not count that last arrest.
likethebeer: (Default)
"Alleged Nazi guard loses appeal."

My first thought was, "Awww - nobody likes the guy anymore? Maybe they found out he wasn't a real Nazi guard, and that made him look like a big liar?"

That's when I realized "appeal" meant "legal appeal".

Lewis Black

May. 2nd, 2008 08:05 am
likethebeer: (I laugh I laugh)
10 minutes from a show he did. funnie.

See below the cut
Read more... )
likethebeer: (I laugh I laugh)
from deciding to get your dog artificial testes after they've been neutered (called "Nuticles"), to, I suppose, buying these as keychains. For some reason, these were even more amusing to me than the necklaces (probably because the keychain came first).

Although I first laughed out loud at the BBQ apron, if only because the tagline is, "Features adjustable straps and two large pockets." Could only have 2 "large" pockets, I suppose. Only $24!!

Oh, I should mention that the first time I ever heard of fake dog testicles was when some former co-workers bought them for their French bull dog, Jack. Jack is a great dog, but I don't know if he was so screwed up by the lack of testicles that he had to get "nuticles", but then again, I'm not his owners.
likethebeer: (Default)
The skit impersonating Jimmy Stewart (and Hugh Grant, Katherine Hepburn & Cary Grant, and GHW Bush); and his guitar humor piece, where he describes lead guitarists getting a look on their face like a dog scraping their butt across the driveway.

Jimmy Stewart, et al.:

Guitar humor:
likethebeer: (mesmerized)
The organization has existed since 1979. But someone should tell them they need a name change: the Wisconsin Tourism Federation
About WTF

The Wisconsin Tourism Federation was established in 1979. Most of WTF's efforts have been devoted to the passage of legislation supportive of the tourism industry.

While tourism initiatives have come from various administrations, individual legislators, the Governor's Council on Tourism and the industry, WTF's lobbying efforts at the State Capitol and at the grassroots level, have been the determining factor for the final passage or defeat of initiatives of concern to the industry.
likethebeer: (I laugh I laugh)
I made mda watch this, and he ended up getting me The Best of Dana Carvey on SNL for x-mas. The man (Carvey) really does make me laugh every time I see him (well, except for the non-Wayne's World movies he's starred in - I really hope someone learns how to use his greatness).

Anyway, this is the thing. His piano work on YouTube:

He's really good at playing instruments, too!

This came up b/c mda was, yes, chopping broccoli.
likethebeer: (Default)
Musharraf continues to hold Pakistan in his bogus state of emergency, the Iraq war and global warming continues, and I'm faced with this constant underlying feeling of dread ("when, exactly, is complete and total environmental collapse coming?"), and I could go on and on and on; but the world still holds the ability to support the silly:
S.D. Man Downs 5.5 Ounces of Hot Sauce

Nov 15th, 2007 | TEA, S.D. -- A South Dakotan may be new world-record holder when it comes to swallowing Tabasco sauce. Levi Johnson of Tea drank 5.5 ounces of the hot sauce, or nearly 3 bottles, in 30 seconds at a sports bar in that community.
Thanks, South Dakota!
likethebeer: (Default)
And at this occasion, the sidebars on the main page of my Hotmail account give me several things to ponder:

A story about how "Jesus became the Christ". Thanks, Hotmail! 18 years of church & 11 years of Catholic school and religion classes, and no one has ever brought up that subject to me before! I'm so glad the internet is here in case there are those in this country, 80% of which claims to be Pxian, who don't know anything about Jesus.

Above the Jesus-into-Christ story is a story involving "Satan's image seen on turtle." So, Satan's still around and must be fought. That nasty... devil.

Meanwhile, on the right hand side of the screen in the advertisement section, I keep seeing a girl who's asking me if I want to "drop a size." Here's the thing: they're talking about weight, but the "drop a size" is written right at the level of her bosom. And she's wearing a sports bra, or something, and she does look quite busty. So I always think, "You really want to do that? I don't think so."


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