1. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all!...
2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU DUMMIE!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.....Stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves a bow. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Wooo Hoo!! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then being surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth; you're just jealous.
Now lay off on some of these things.
We both know who is boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?